Fishing for Marshmallows

Did you ever fish around your cereal bowl, looking for the marshmallows in your Lucky Charms as a kid? I remember that sinking feeling near the end of my bowl, seeing only the oats left in there, all soggy and floating around like driftwood after the carnage of a storm.

I loved seeing the colorful, marble-colored spectrum of colors that the marshmallows would dye the milk. Once the deplorable oats were out of the way, slurping down the sugar-infused milk was the best way to top it all off!

How’d I Get Here?

Isn’t this kind of how we go through life? Expecting to filter out all the deplorable “oats” from our life? As you could say, trying to “sugar-coat” everything, searchiing for our lucky clover, or wanting to look through life with rose-colored glasses?

Life gets hard and things are more complicated than sifting between marshmallows and oats. Wouldn’t it be nice if you just had luck, and didn’t have to deal with any of the bad parts?

Sometimes, what may initially look like a marshmallow, turns out to just be bland ‘ole oats in disguise!

Does this sound familiar? Maybe this is how you initially felt about college, a career, or starting a family. As soon as you splash right into things, you realize it’s not as glamorous, fun, or exciting as you thought it would be.

Maybe it’s harder than you expected or doesn’t provide the satisfaction or visibility you hoped for.

Suddenly, you’re wishing you hadn’t even taken a bite and just keep searching for that ever-elusive marshmallow—somewhere out there, still riding on the waves of a sugar-filled bowl of milk.

Photo by Leah Kelley from Pexels

Finding Joy In the Oats

Something interesting happened when I started getting older and kept eating my Lucky Charms cereal. Someone told me the oats were actually the healthier part of the cereal and the marshmallows were packed with sugar.

I don’t know if it was a conscious decision, but how I ate my Lucky Charms changed over time. I started eating the oats, and even enjoying them. And now I’m to the point where I don’t really even like eating sugary cereals because they’re so sweet!

The fact is, life is made up of a whole variety of experiences. Some oats and some marshmallows. Some good, some bad or seemingly good or bad. And if we keep chasing that pot of gold like Lucky the Leprechaun, we might miss out on the gold disguised as oats.

The thing is that drinking from the richness of life sometimes means we have to learn from both the bad and the good experiences.

Are Some People Lucky?

A belief I’ve held and sometimes still hold is that some people are just “lucky.” I remember thinking some kids were lucky because they got the smart genes and didn’t have to work as hard as I did at school.

When I was old enough to start dating, I thought some girls were “lucky” because they were blessed with amazing beauty. Some girls were even blessed with both smarts and beauty!

The horrible thing about that was that I found myself comparing myself to others.

As Theodore Roosevelt once said, “comparison is the thief of joy.”

So, what is true joy? And what is the difference between that and just being happy?

Finding Joy

Joy, as Mother Teresa once said is, “is prayer; joy is strength: joy is love; joy is a net of love by which you can catch souls.”

I learned something about joy when I served a church mission in a foreign country. I was learning a second language and trying to adjust to living with different people and moving every couple of months.

It was incredibly taxing and challenging in every way imaginable, but I think because the lows were so low, the high’s I experienced and the joy (not just fleeting happiness) I felt was unlike anything I had experienced before.

If They Can Do It, You Can Too

If you’ve ever read The Diary of a Young Girl, you know of the atrocities many Jews were put through. And despite the horrible conditions she endured, Anne Frank said, “I don’t think of all the misery, but of the beauty that still remains.”

Isn’t that incredible?

Viktor Frankl of Man’s Search For Meaning understood this too.

Frankl suffered unimaginable conditions and loss of loved ones in a Nazi concentration camp and yet had this to say, “Everything can be taken from a man but one thing: the last of the human freedoms—to choose one’s attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one’s own way.”

Helen Keller struggled tremendously with the frustrations of being born both deaf and blind.

And yet she said this about life:

“The marvelous richness of human experience would lose something of rewarding joy if there were no limitations to overcome. The hilltop hour would not be half so wonderful if there were no dark valleys to traverse…Your success and happiness lies in you. Resolve to keep happy, and your joy and you shall form an invincible host against difficulties.”

So do we really need luck on our side? I mean, if you’re wanting to win the lottery maybe. But you certainly don’t need to win the lottery to find joy and meaning in your life.

What You Can Do

What are some things we can do to find joy even in times of uncertainty?

Here’s a list.

• Take up a new hobby. Gardening, cooking, hiking, climbing, fishing, knitting, crocheting, macrame, cross-stitching, embroidery, sewing, drawing, painting, photography, scrapbooking, golfing, swimming, tennis, badminton, racquetball, working out, walking with friends, bullet journaling, yoga, parkour, poetry, writing fiction, collecting insects, designing cards, home improvement projects.
• Volunteer in your community. Reading to children, visiting nursing homes, tutoring, free musical performances, community plays.
• Start a reading group. You may want to wait until after the pandemic calms, but you can invite your closest friends or open it to anyone in your community by starting a Facebook page.
• Run a marathon. A great way to stay active with friends or family. Obviously, don’t do this if your health doesn’t permit it.
• Make a furry friend. Foster a pet. Many pets need a safe home after recovering from surgery or before they’re adopted. You can look up your local humane society to see what animals are available.
• Adopt a sibling. You can learn more on their website but the “Big Brothers Big Sisters’ community-based mentoring program matches youths age 6-18, predominantly from low-income, single-parent households, with adult volunteer mentors who are typically young (20-34) and well-educated (the majority are college graduates).”
• Learn another language. You can start small by integrating phone apps like Duolingo into your daily routine. You could even plan a trip to another country for motivation to keep learning and as a reward for your studies!
• Meet new people. There are many ways to do this and hopefully, everything else on this list can help you meet people. Additionally, you can sign up for meetups, attend seminars, or join a community that matches your interests.
• Start a non-profit. Are you passionate about a cause? You’ll need to find a name, incorporate, and register with your state. You can check out The National Council of Nonprofits for more information.
• Take a class. There are so many ways to learn these days. With online courses, you can learn how to do anything from the comfort of your home and many free resources like blogs are a great way to find things you might be interested in. Coursera and Udemy offer some free classes, while YouTube (from legitimate sources) can be a good springboard too.
• Start a blog/podcast/youtube channel. Any of these options will be a LOT of work! But if there’s something you’re passionate about and want to share with the world, go for it! I recommend Ruth Soukup or Problogger as great resources for blogging. If you’re interested in podcasts, Pat Flynn is great. Peter Hollens’ The Creator Academy offers a great framework for getting started on YouTube. That’s where my brother got started—he loved it!
• Search your family history. Growing up, we celebrated our Irish ancestry each St. Patty’s Day with displays of our Irish ancestors and a review of our Irish family line. FamilySearch and Ancestry.com are great resources for finding long-lost ancestors. My family has always loved family history and using these tools, has even gotten us in contact with distant cousins from different countries! You may not love history, but there is something special about learning where and who you come from.
• Plan a trip with family/friends. Of course, you’ll want to wait until after the world is not in the middle of a pandemic to do this, but a great way to get away and de-stress!
• Start couponing. Couponing takes a lot of work and time, but it can be fun to reap the rewards! Some apps that are a great starting place are KCL, Free Stuff Finder, Top Cashback, Ibotta, Fetch Rewards, Coupons, Shopkick, Flipp.

Make Your Own Story, Make Your Own Luck

In Donald Miller’s A Million Miles In A Thousand Years, he talks about elements of a good story. And how that can be applied to our lives.

If we want a good “story,” we need to get out there and be willing to DO things that create a good story!

And in Irish fashion, I leave you with this Irish blessing.

May joy and peace surround you, and contentment latch your door 

May happiness be with you now 

And bless you evermore

May the [joy] of the Irish be with you! Happy St. Patty’s Day!

Tell Us What You Think

What are your thoughts on fortune? Are some people born with it? Do you believe in luck?

Have you ever felt like you were chasing luck, yet overlooking something amazing you already had in front of you?

What makes you feel lucky? Did something lucky happen to you today?

Let us know in the comments or on our Facebook page!

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